I Can't See It

The dress is long, black, with straps all over the back, placed in a way that could help me seduce with nothing more than the movement of my shoulders. I might try it, if only to prove my point. Even the kimono and fringe hanging from it cannot express how feminine I feel in the new version of me. She is happier, focused, and knows what she wants. The only thing that she would tumble with is the image of him hovering over her like a hawk. The possibility is barely there BUT you never know what life has planned out for you. What would I do? How would I react? Wave, say hello or simply ignore? How about not think about it, and yes, that would be nice, but we all stress over the idea of a past lover or friend showing up in front of our eyes because we usually don't do what was rehearsed 3 nights ago when the possibility was learned about. You might feel your body cramp up, and your mouth dry but guess what? No matter what you do or say they are not there to stay. 

I want to see him, because closure is an important part of the moving on process and seeing that person just one more time will show you how exactly do you feel. The only ex person I got to see in the past two days was a guy, who was fun, but no real man to end things by telling me straight up, but instead stopping all contact without a warning which is probably the easiest thing to do. I am almost certain men fear our reactions if we are told such things face to face but guess what? I will only stand stronger and better when it's done, so it is up to you to find the way more "appropriate" for you. I want to write more tonight, but my eyes are begging for rest, and my brain needs a break from overthinking even now when there is yet no actual work for college. 

All I need is Chopin and E.A.Poe. No other inspiration will matter much to me. If it doesn't make you feel the darkness under your skin, congratulations, you might have it easier than the next guy.