Some Type of Way

I have stories to tell, real stories, ones that actually happened to me. The only thing they lack is me telling them to you, the reader. I haven't read in a month or so, and there has been no writing done in the past few months, the months I have spent crying in secret, all over a man that broke me down, tore my wings apart and spread his in the other direction. Even the strongest woman will break at the sight of true love. It might not be pure or perfect, but if you feel it, it is real. But these stories are not all about him. Some are of the men that I "stumbled" upon on my way to a healthy relationship (as if I have any clue what color it is, how it tastes or feels on my skin), which i need, according to people who find themselves close to me in one way or another. As I decided to start off a new year in my collegiate life by being close to perfection in my studies, I also chose to write everyday no matter how boring, obnoxious, sappy or dramatic it may be. I need the practice, and I know I will find my way to the voice I am searching for, the one that makes every letter taste like chocolate, and as it molds together I will make the perfect cake for you to eat. It might take a while for the perfect recipe, but I will get there and you will be left with a taste of me, the girl with a heart hidden inside the box of ice. 

Now that the introduction is out of the way, the new semester has started today, and I find myself overthinking again. You see, I feel something for a man, but I am not yet sure of the power it holds over me. It could be a wonderful friendship with no intentions whatsover, but the joke is on me because I am in love with his brain. And not in a sexual, or "I want to date you" kind of way, but in a way that I could listen to him all day and make it through the night, because it feeds me, it feeds that hunger inside me. It doesn't have the power as strong as the one I felt before, where I would linger with the mere thought of that man's tongue and breath on my neck, but I finally feel something, and I haven't felt anything in a while. So what should I do? Let it take its way over and around me. And here I thought I could care about my close friends, and that would be all that I felt, but if his words continue getting closer to me, I will hate him anywhere far way from me and would need a higher dosage of his wisdom. Just a warning before I go on, I am all over the place with metaphors because I believe in writing what I feel at that exact moment. To further my story of his wisdom, I need you to know that I am of course, physically attracted to him so it makes the entire "story" fit even better together, because if there is something that is even better than the words flicking from his tongue it is definitely the way his lips are curved to perfection. Yes, I pay attention to details. And no, I cannot make too much contact with him because I know he will read my eyes well, and that scares me, because his friendship means more than any feeling of love ever would. It's funny because we only hung out alone two times but when people connect, that is all that really matters. I know there is so much more that he has to say and I want to listen to it, enjoy what comes out, because it is beautiful in its own dark way. Oh man, have I taken this post too far? Made it seem like I am in love with the guy? I hope you didn't get that idea because I am only paying tribute to his beautiful soul, and how rarely such a person comes along in my life. I think that would be enough adoring for one night, farewell until tomorrow.